The Kitchen Sink, Part II

Two days after the previous sink entry...


G-pa (on the phone): Is Dan there?

Mom: Yes.

G-pa: Oh good. Your mom wanted me to call and thank him for installing the kitchen sink.








My dad enjoyed this one. See, my grandma wasn't the most accepting of my dad when he got married, but now she thinks he's a saint. Like, the patron saint of independent contracting.

The Kitchen Sink

New apartment, new problems

Approaches my mom, who is washing dishes in the kitchen sink.

G-ma: I love this place, but I'm mad.

Mom: Oh? Why is that?

G-ma: Because it doesn't have a kitchen sink.

Mom (currently holding a soapy plate):...Yes it does. Right here.






Grandma, if I were trying to find the kitchen sink, I would start by looking in the kitchen.

Christmas Party, 2009

Preparing for this year's family party, I remembered last year's...

G-ma: Have you met my sister, Jean?

Response: Yeah. She's my mom...






Grandma, everyone has met your sister Jean. We've been having this party for about 86 years. Not only that, they met her tonight, the last six times you introduced her.

Getting a Table (Part 2)

We're at Fred Meyer, getting my Grandpa a table. We surround the display table, looking at structural integrity and appearance.

G-pa: I like this table. (Hits top)

G-ma: What're you looking for, Clair?

G-pa: This table. We're going to buy it.

G-ma: What table?

G-pa:...

Getting a Table

George is my Grandma's older brother, Jean is her older sister. They're both in their upper 80s...

G-ma: Are you my George?

Me: No, I'm Nate.

G-ma: You're Nate?...Well where's Jean?

Me: I don't know, Grandma. Maybe Washington?



George is about 60 pounds heavier than me Grandma, and a foot and a half shorter. Jean hasn't left her apartment in 6 years, cuz she's a little...off, like you.

The Shoes, Part II

G-ma: Where are my shoes?

G-pa: By the front door.

G-ma: Are these them? (Starts putting on my grandpa's massive size 13 extra wide sandals) These do not feel right.

G-pa: (Stifles laughter) That's because those are mine.





Grandma, I know the floor is far away and your eyesight is bad, but you've got to know the difference between your size 6, and his size 13. Even fuzzy images would have drastic size differential.

The Shoes

G-ma: I always take my shoes off outside, but I don't see them.

Mom: The because they're inside, Mom.

G-ma: Where are my shoes?

Mom: Are they by the front door?

G-ma: I don't know why they would be there. I never take them off.




If by "never" you mean "always"